Conflict resolution skills in the workplace can be learnt. That’s great news for managers who might be feeling a little unsure of how to handle conflict and work towards a suitable outcome for all.

It’s normal for the odd problem to arise within a modern workplace. There are disagreements around the boardroom tables, employees sit at their office desks in close proximity to other colleagues and it’s normal to misunderstand each other occasionally. However, these problems shouldn’t cause huge conflicts on a regular basis. If they do, it’s important to know what to do and how to resolve it quickly, fairly and effectively. 

There are many do’s and don’ts of dealing with conflict but it’s not easy to know about them at the start. Of course, managers should undergo conflict management training, which will give them the tools to deal with issues and calm the waters within the office environment. 

Let’s check out 10 phrases you should avoid saying at all costs when dealing with an office conflict. Sometimes it’s easier to learn what not to say, than what you should say!

10 Phrases to Avoid During Conflict Resolution 

1. “Who is to blame here?” - You should avoid propositioning blame at all costs and by asking your employees who is to blame, you’re making them feel like they can’t approach you and be listened to or treated fairly.
2. “We are going to do this” - Telling your employees what you’re going to do about a conflict is not the best way to approach the situation. It’s far better to explore potential solutions with your employees and ask them for suggestions on how best to deal with the problem first. 
3. “You are wrong” - Again, you’re blaming someone by doing this and that’s not what you’re aiming for. Never tell an employee they’re wrong; sure, they might be, but you should never directly say it. 
4. “Why did you do that?” - By saying something like this, you’re treating your employee as a child and that is going to erode their self-confidence and make them feel like they can’t approach you when there is a problem. 
5. “This is silly/stupid” - Conflicts are never silly or stupid. They might seem that way, but there is always a deeper problem at hand and exploring that and trying to find a solution is better than belittling employees and making them feel like children. 
6. “So, what should I do about this?” - Using the word “I” makes it seem like you’re showing your power over your employees. Instead, use the word “we”. Say, “what do you think we should do about this?”, and explore options. 
7. “You’re wasting my time” - Never, ever tell an employee that by approaching you that they’re wasting your time. This is a huge problem in management and one which has very real and lasting effects on morale. An open-door policy should be in place, not a policy of unapproachability. 
8. “I really don’t have time for this” - Again, you’re showing your employees that what they have to say isn’t important that you’re far too busy to deal with their petty problems. 
9. “Why can’t you sort this out between yourselves?” - It’s likely that they have tried to sort things out and haven’t managed it, hence why they are coming to you. 
10. Mentioning any suggestion that it’s “like dealing with children” - Do not belittle your employees. 

Avoid these phrases at all costs. Whilst you’re sitting at your executive desk, you do not want to belittle or show your employees that they’re wasting your precious time by coming to you with a problem. Remember, conflict has far-reaching effects and you need to take it seriously if you want to avoid morale dips which lead to poor productivity. 

Focus on positive language and looking for ways to learn from conflict, rather than rolling your eyes and becoming exasperated at having to deal with yet another problem that you feel you don’t have time for.