What Should You do if an Employee is Upset by Constructive Criticism?

When giving feedback, it can go one of two ways. 

The employee can either be fine with it, accepting it as something to learn from, or they may take umbrage to it, assuming that it’s a direct attack on them.

Very rarely does it sit somewhere in the middle. 

The hope is that most of your employees understand that constructive criticism isn’t a personal attack and that it is meant to be something to learn from. However, that relies very heavily upon the manager knowing how to give such feedback in the right way to begin with. Not understanding this means an employee is far more likely to leave the discussion around the boardroom chairs and be extremely upset or annoyed with what has been said.

Check out this video which gives some useful tips on how to give constructive criticism in a positive way. 

As you can see, giving feedback means focusing on the positive and ensuring that you use the right language. Nobody is perfect, and there’s always something new to learn. Focusing on that aspect will ensure that employees don’t take your feedback in a negative way. 

However, if it does happen and one of your employees becomes upset by the feedback you’ve given, it can easily cause conflict within the office. This is not something you should encourage, as conflict is a direct route towards morale, which then links to productivity and profits. It’s a slippery slope!

The best course of action is to identify straightaway whether the feedback you’ve given has been taken correctly or not. Read their body language, do they suddenly appear defensive? Are they crossing their arms or legs over their body? Are they fidgeting? Are their nostrils flaring? Are they blushing or red in the face? Are they maintaining eye contact? These are signs to look for when someone is angry or upset. They might tell you they’re fine, but perhaps they’re just saying that to get out of the office.

Be aware of what negative body language looks like and identify it quickly. Then, take action. Explain that what you have said is not meant in a negative way, that you are very happy with their work, but you feel that this is a learning opportunity for them. Encourage them to open up and tell you how they really feel and then you can deal with it in a direct way. Go back over the feedback and ensure that it’s more positive than the first time. In most cases, that’s all that is needed. 

Feedback is a vital tool for employee development and it can also be a stepping stone towards career progression. Most employees will be able to take feedback in the way it is intended but as a manager, you hold the cards. If you do it in the wrong way, you’re inviting trouble. However, get it right, and the waters should be calm and smooth from that point onwards.

Of course, you should never give feedback to an employee in front of other people and you should never call them into your office in a way which makes it obvious to everyone else in the contemporary office environment. You could simply mention in passing when no-one else is around or when nobody can hear that you’d like to have a quick chat when they’ve got a moment. Or, if that opportunity doesn’t arise, send a quick email and invite them into your office. That way, they can come to you without anyone really noticing what is going on.

Constructive criticism is meant to be exactly that - constructive. Ensure that the feedback you’re giving contains actionable advice. Don’t just tell them that they’re doing something wrong and leave it up to them to figure out how to improve it. Guide them and help them to learn.