Many people make the mistaking of assuming that in order to communicate effectively, they need to speak. They also assume that the more they speak and often the louder they speak, the better.
Do you agree?
Communication is an umbrella term which covers a huge range of elements. By simply assuming that communication is one thing only, you’re alienating the other elements and therefore not giving yourself a chance to learn the whole.
Of course, communication is about speaking and explaining your point clearly and succinctly, however, knowing when to stay quiet and listen is equally as important. By speaking all the time and not focusing on listening, you’re missing the small details which could actually give you far more information about the bigger picture.
It’s easy to assume that you know how to listen. You simply, well, listen, right? True, but do you know what to listen for and how to show the other person that you’re paying attention? Check out this video which gives some useful information on how to improve your listening skills.
Not everyone is a confident speaker. You might be speaking to a colleague around the boardroom tables who struggles to find the right words in the heat of the moment. That means they need a few seconds more. By jumping in and not giving them the time they need, you’re potentially stopping them from putting forth a really good suggestion about whatever it is you’re brainstorming. Knowing when to keep quiet and simply allow the other person the time and space they need to find the right words is vital.
This is often a problem when you have a range of personality types within one space. In that case, the extroverts are keen and excited to collaborate and that often means they speak over the quieter members of staff. Of course, they’re not doing this deliberately, it’s simply that extroverts brainstorm verbally, whereas introverts tend to think before they speak. However, if the extroverts are speaking constantly, introverts can’t get a word in edgeways!
This is why communication is so much more than just using words and verbalising whatever you’re thinking. It’s about taking the time to listen and also identifying other nonverbal cues, such as body language, facial expressions, hand gestures, and the speed and tone of what the person is saying. All of this adds up to the full picture and by not focusing on the whole spectrum of communication elements, you’re at risk of totally missing the point.
So, take a step back, allow others to say what they need to say, in their own time, and really focus on listening and watching. By doing that you’ll increase the effectiveness of your own communication skills, whilst allowing others to do the same.