Do you think that you’re a good listener? 

You’re probably nodding your head and thinking “of course I am”, but most people are actually far from the mark when it comes to their genuine listening skills. 

You see, most people assume they can listen well, but when put to the test, they don’t actually tick the box. We’re all very good at talking, but it seems listening is something we need to work on a little more.

For instance, when you’re listening, perhaps around the modern boardroom tables, do you simply listen to the words and take them in, or do you listen to the things that perhaps aren’t being said too? We’re talking about things like body language, tone of voice, speed of speech, and any breaks in words, such as ‘umm’, ‘erm’, ‘ahh’. These are all powerful tools which can help us understand a situation far better. 

Check out this video for some useful hints on this particular subject. 

In this busy modern world we live in, we focus far too much on appearance, success, and comparisons, but we fail to stop and really take the situation on board. For instance, how can you be sure that someone is telling you the truth? How can you be sure that someone really is fine when they tell you nothing is wrong? 

You can’t. Many people are very good at hiding their emotions and the truth, but by being a good listener you can dig a little deeper and get to the heart of the situation, the real truth behind what you’re seeing and hearing.  

Do You Hear or Listen?

There is a very real difference between hearing something and listening to it. For instance, introverts are thought to be good listeners because they focus on what is being said, rather than simply letting the words float in and out of their mind. Whilst sat in their boardroom chairs, they don’t just hear words that are being vocalised, they listen to the way something is being said. 

Sometimes what isn’t said it just as important as what is! 

For instance, let’s imagine that you’re a manager and you’ve noticed that a member of staff has been a little less productive than usual over the last few weeks. You ask to speak to them and you explain your concerns, asking if anything is wrong. They simply tell you that everything is fine and that they’ll try harder at their office desks. 

Do you leave it at that?

Some people would, but if you were a good listener, you wouldn’t.

Instead, you would watch their body language, you would check whether they were making eye contact, whether they were using defensive stances, or whether they were fidgeting whilst talking. You would listen to how they were speaking, e.g. whether they were talking too fast, stuttering, becoming visibly agitated, and the types of words they were using. 

All of these things could give you a picture of what is really going on. Perhaps that employee is under a lot of stress and doesn’t want to admit it. By really listening, you can unearth that issue, ask them whether they’re feeling under stress, and therefore help them to deal with the problem first hand. 

All of this can be achieved by simply learning to listen well. 

Being able to listen is useful in your personal and professional lives, and in some cases could turn out to be a real time-saver. Someone may be lying to you, and you wouldn’t know it unless you had the listening and intuition skills to work it out. Taking everything at face value rarely unearths the truth, but looking a little deeper and reading between the lines usually brings the genuine situation to the fore. 

Put simply, we could all do with learning how to really listen, and not just hear.